


Malneirophrenia

by TeamGallifreeWill



Series: A Touch of Normal [19]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels are Dicks (Supernatural), Dreamwalking, F/M, How Do I Tag, M/M, badass cas, oh Rowena graces us with her appearence, power couples, the family that hunts together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 16:30:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21057497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamGallifreeWill/pseuds/TeamGallifreeWill
Summary: The family rallies together after a surprise attack on one of their own. As usual, they may take it a bit too far and need to lean on each other. The two couples also face their own issues while working this one...





	1. Chapter 1

_ Sam’s walking through the bunker’s hallway when he hears it. “Oh Sam, Sam, Sam. Poor little Sammy. Still so easy to get inside your noggin,” the disembodied voice’s words cause him to freeze. His head swivels trying to find it. _

_ “No. No, you’re not real. We-Cas said you wouldn’t have been able to survive that. You-Lex came back. This isn't real,” he rambles as he tries to prove this is a dream, finding his feet, and frantically searching through the halls.  _

_ Lucifer appears in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. He tsks and shakes his head, “hate to break it to you, but your little girlfriend ran out on you in college and never came back. Died when her boyfriend got a little too mad at her,” he points a finger gun and aims at his stomach, his mouth forming a silent ‘boom’, making Sam’s blood run cold, his body freezing along with it.  _

_ “No. She lives here. She saved mom. This isn’t real. You’re not real,” he’s tries to be assertive, but it comes out sounding more like he’s convincing himself. His eyes closed trying to find any recent memories, but they all seem made up now. _

_ The archangel moves in closer to Sam’s face while he’s too busy trying to figure out what’s going on to notice, his words making the hunter jump, “she’s dead Sam. So is mommy dearest. And your little pet I used to call a brother too. Soon after that one Dean saved everyone the trouble and took himself off the game board.” He’s right against Sam’s ear. He leans in and whispers, “just you and me now Sammy,” he pulls back raising his arms and spinning in the open hallway.  _

_ “Stop! You’re lying. About all of it.” His eyes are large and an open display of his fear. _

_ He stops, a crooked smirk slides across his lips while the silence hangs and blankets the space around them. Startling the hunter when he finally speaks, “am I? Take a look around, Sam.” He leaves with a snap of his fingers. _

_ Sam starts running through the bunker looking for his family, calling their names, but stops in the kitchen. It’s a wreck. Dishes piled in the sink, beer bottles scattered around, even food containers still remain where they must have been emptied. Dean would’ve never left it like this. He runs to his brother’s room and is met with a sloppy ‘DO NOT ENTER’ sign in his own handwriting. He hesitates, but ultimately listens to the warning. He goes to his own room instead. Opening his door he’s stunned by what he sees; it’s a disaster. One constant from the rest of the bunker is also gone. Instead of empty beer bottles, although there are still a few, most of the littered glass held the much stronger stuff. He goes to rub his cheek but stops as his hand runs over coarse hair. He runs to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror all he can do is stare. He looks as unkempt as the bunker; his eyes are red and bloodshot, dark rings under them, his hair is longer and flat, clothes that look like he’s worn them day and night for about a week hang on his frame. But the oddest thing is his beard. Sure, he’s let some stubble grow from time to time, but this, this is an actual beard, and not a well trimmed one. It’s clear to see one thing about all of this; it’s all true and he’s given up. _

“No!” he screams waking in a panic, his heart racing, and reaches for the other side of the bed but finds it empty.  _ Oh god. She’s not here. It’s true.  _ He runs his hand through his hair. 

“Dean!” He yells as he starts looking around the room for any sign of Alexa. His frantic movements don’t let him actually see anything though. “Cas!”

Dean comes barreling into the room, gun poised, “what is it?” he asks panicked. Sam can only stare with wide eyes. “Sam?”

“You’re alive,” he chokes out. 

“Uh, yeah. Last time I checked anyway,” he’s still unsure what he should do so he keeps his aim steady. 

“And Cas?” his head tries to pinpoint when this is. Dean’s alive so it could either all be false, or just parts of it.

“You ok Sammy?” He looks around and starts to lower the weapon after not seeing a threat. 

“Am I engaged?” His voice is almost desperate.  _ He can’t be right about Lex.  _

Dean creases his brow in concern and his worry deepens, as does his voice,  _ something is really wrong if he doesn’t remember that _ . “Sammy?” he can't hide the disbelief in his voice, and that just seems to spook his little brother even more. 

“Dean answer me! Do you know a girl named Alexa?” His eyes are wide and wild.

Dean lets the gun fall to his side. “Sam, look at me, you feeling ok? What happened?”

Tears are rapidly filling his eyes, “they’re gone aren’t they? Lex, Mom, Cas,” his eyes widen again when he realizes, “don’t leave me too Dean. I know it hurts with Cas gone but, I need you. Please,” his breathing becomes erratic as he sits on the edge of the bed.

Dean is by his side in an instant, holding him still. “Breathe Sam, breathe. In and out. Look at me. You’re scaring me. What the hell is going on?” He can feel his phone vibrate in his pocket and has a pretty good idea it’s Cas, but ignores it. 

Losing the battle with his tears Sam speaks through them and ragged breaths, “Lex was my college girlfriend before Jess. I should’ve told you about her but it hurt too much. Even more after Jess. Then Mom being pulled in with Lucifer after he, oh god, Cas,” his breathes are almost non-existent.

“Sam, Sam, hey, calm down,” he starts to panic too. “They’re alive. Cas is fine. He and Lex are out. You are engaged,” he hurries to answer. “Now tell me what happened, man.”

Sam stares shocked still for a moment before a soft, ragged, “Lucifer,” escapes his lips. Taking an unsteady breath he continues, “he, he was in my dream, I guess. He told me everything was a lie. Lex never came back, she was dead, Mom too, and that, um, after Cas, you, you killed yourself. I started to panic that it was real when I woke up alone.”

Dean sits shell-shocked,  _ how the hell did he know,  _ “Sam,” he takes a steadying breath, “before Cas came back, I, um,” he can’t finish.

“Wait, you were going to?”

“I did Sam, the case, remember?” He turns his head unable to look at his little brother, “it was, I couldn’t, I felt like I was just taking up space.” They’re interrupted by Dean’s phone, this time ringing. “See what that asshat started? Now I have to explain myself.” He answers, “sorry Cas, I’ll explain in a little bit. Yeah, I’m ok. I promise. Sam is too. Ok, you do that. Love you, angel,” the nickname a tell-tale sign of the emotions swirling around inside him as he hangs up.

“Dean?” The voice coming from behind him is small and shaky. 

“Yeah?” He turns back around to face Sam.

“I know how you felt, but I’m glad Billie sent you back. We got Cas back that night.”

A soft smile graces the older brother’s face, “yeah we did.”

“And Lex, she’s?”

Dean sighs, “Sammy just call your girl. I gotta call Cas back and explain anyway. You know we’ll need to, uh, figure this out, right?”

“Yeah,” he looks back down at his hands.

“Right,” Dean nods and leaves the room, phone to his ear.

Sam looks and sees his phone next to the bed. Picking it up he quickly finds an image of Alexa as his lock screen and lets out a held breath. The woman looking back at him is his age, not the college age girl, or even someone who had stopped aging several years previous. He quickly pulls up their conversation, not actually having to pull it up at all considering it welcomes him as soon as he unlocks the phone. The final text being ‘night Sam. Love and miss you. Dream about when I get back ;)’.

Before he gets a chance to call her she’s calling him. He answers shakily, “Hey Alexa.”

“What happened?” she asks instantly.

“What?” he tries to act like everything’s fine. 

Alexa doesn’t buy it, or cut him any slack, “What happened? All of a sudden Cas stops and calls Dean asking if you two are alright. Then Dean just called him back and he walked away with that... look. And to add icing to this cake of awesome, you just answered by calling me Alexa. Something’s up, what is it?”

“You can read me like a book can’t you?” His voice is soft and small.

Her voice softens as well, “Can’t put it down Babe. Now tell me, please?”

Sam lets out a defeated sigh, “I think it was Lucifer.”

There’s a moment of shifting as he hears her get in the car. Before she can say anything, the angel is pulling out, fast. “We’re on our way home now. Get some coffee and then you and me are gonna talk, ok? After we do that we’ll see what happens.”

A weak and monotoned, “Okay,” is all he can manage.

She sighs, proving once again that yes, she does know every detail of him, before she softly and sternly assures him, “Sam, listen to me. I love you. I always have. I always will. I will fight for you until my last breath and after that. You got it?”

Closing his eyes he lets her words wash over him, “Why do you always have to prove you’re the strong one?” he tries to joke.

“I’m not, Sweetie. But I’ll be as strong as I need to be to help you. Now go to the kitchen and sit with Dean. We’ll be home soon, especially with Cas driving like Earnhardt.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Sammohane.” She can hear his smile across the line, “That’s not my name.”

“Still fits. Look it up, and like I said, we’ll be home soon.”

“Ok. I’ll, uh, go find Dean.”

“You do that, Babe.”

“Bye.”

“Bye Sweetie.”

“You ready?” Cas asks as she hangs up. 

“A little late to answer in the negative isn’t it?” He doesn’t bother to acknowledge her hypothetical quip. “Did-do you know?” she asks softly. 

Cas looks to the side mirror before glancing quickly at her, then back to the road, “yes. Dean mentioned it.”

“Do you think it’s really him?” she finds herself asking as her eyes fall to her hands.

“I am unsure. I find it best to never underestimate Lucifer,” he offers as he passes a minivan. “But we should get home and handle one thing at a time.”


	2. Chapter 2

Sam shuffles to the kitchen to find Dean hunched over the counter by the coffee pot, head in his hands. “Dee,” he mumbles.

Dean’s head snaps up and a false smile slides across his features, “Hey Sammy, ready for some coffee?”

“Not really. This all still feels,” he stops and stares blankly, “I don’t even know how to finish that.” He sits heavily at the table and hunches in around himself.

Dean’s eyes follow as he takes a seat. The sight of his brother hurting pulls at his chest. “You, uh, can I get you anything?”

“I’m good. You ok?”

“Yeah, course. Cas and Lex will be home soon and we’ll figure this out like we always do.” He does his best to project the confidence he wish he had right now.

“What if it was really him Dean?”

“We’ll deal with it,” he says sternly. 

“That could’ve all been true. If Lex never came back, if after Cas,” Dean’s smile falters and his hands stills, “I had no idea,” Sam gets lost in the thoughts again.

Dean walks over and sits across from him. “Sammy, hey, I’m sorry I kept just how bad it was after losing Cas to myself, but you had enough on your plate with losin’ mom.” Sam tries to interrupt but he keeps going, “but yeah, I thought he was gone for good and I, um,” he shrugs instead of finishing his sentence.

“Dean, how the hell did you two wait so long?”

Dean actually smiles at that, “now that we’re together I really have no idea. God, everything is just so much easier. I get the urge to grab his hand? I don’t have to plan out how to touch him without it being weird, or anything. It just frees up so much mindspace.”

Sam’s lips manage a quick upturn as well, “mindspace? Wait, you really did that?”

“It was like when you have the worst crush on someone, but know they don’t like you like that, ya know? Not like you were Mr. Suave with Lex,” he huffs. 

“But you had to have realized he liked you too at some point, right?”

Dean shakes his head, “after having those feelings for so long, any slight indication is over thought into oblivion in seconds.”

“Wow... that, um, that actually makes sense. And Cas learned just about all of his rusty social skills from you so, he’d do the same,” he tilts his head in thought.

“Yeah, well,” he rolls his eyes sending them into a heavy silence. 

“How do you think this is gonna go?” Sam asks seriously.

“I don’t know. Cas mentioned going upstairs and seeing if the angels have any news on him being back.”

“And?”

“And what Sammy?” his voice almost a dare for his brother to keep going.

“And you’re not happy with that option,” he points out blandly. 

“Hell no. It’s never exactly been a heartfelt welcome when it comes to him.”

“True,” Sam turns his eyes back to the table. “Maybe you should go with him this time.”

“Wh-Yeah,” he scoffs. “Like that’ll be better,” he gets up for another cup of coffee. “And how did this turn into a talk about me and Cas?”

“It’s easier than the other thing.”

“Who woulda ever thought that?” he says, taking a large gulp from his mug. 

_____

“We should be home in about five minutes.” Cas’s updates have been one of the only breaks in their otherwise silent drive back to the bunker. 

“Cas, is it really him?” Alexa’s question, always the same one, being the other interruption.

“Alexa, again, I’m not sure. I may be able to find out more by going to heaven and asking,” his tone letting on that it’s not his ideal option.

“Take Dean with you.”

That makes him huff out a laugh as he hits a straight stretch of road and presses the gas, “Heaven has not been especially welcoming of me, and especially when Dean is involved.”

“It’s not about you though. You’re there to inform them of a mutual threat.”

“A threat that is also, in part, our fault.”

“Fine, but I’m taking care of Sam when we get back so you and Dean can figure it out.”

“Do you think he’s alright?” He looks over to her, making sure she’s alright as well, then back to the road.

“I don’t know. He was definitely shook up. I don’t know what happened, but it had him for lack of better words, buggin.”

“‘Buggin’ is the best word?” he squints.

“Freaking out?” Alexa tries again.

“Ahh, well, let’s hope Sam is done ‘buggin’ and see what happened,” he pulls into the garage and cuts the engine.

Alexa quickly opens the door and heads for the kitchen. In between is a blur, but the next thing she registers is her arms wrapped around Sam who’s holding her even tighter. “How about we go to our room, okay?” She looks up and he just nods while his eyes threaten to overflow. “We’ll see you in a bit boys,” she throws over her shoulder as they walk to their room.

Once they’ve walked by, Cas looks up to Dean and is welcomed by a warm smile, “Hello Dean,” he returns the smile.

“Hiya Cas, want some coffee?”

“Sure,” he walks over and takes the vacated seat across from the hunter. He waits until Dean sits back down. “Are you alright?”

“Sure I am.”

“Dean,” he tries to hide it, but the worry still seeps through.

“I know, man, I know, but I’m not as bad as Sammy.”

“Dean,” he waits until the pair of green eyes reach him before continuing to make sure he understands, “Sam has Alexa, you have me.” He may also say it with a decent set of puppy eyes. 

He sees Dean deflate with a sigh. “He knew,” he stops and clears his throat. “Sam somehow knew that I wanted to die after Lucifer killed you.”

The admission makes the angel shift his gaze away. “Dean, a number of things could have made him arrive at that conclusion. It could have all just been a nightmare.”

“Cas,” he waits for the angel’s eyes to meet his, “What are the odds of that?”

“Same as him escaping that warehouse I assume,” he looks down at his untouched cup between his hands.

There’s a heavy breath that makes him look up again. “You going upstairs then?”

“I believe I have to. They’d be able to locate him more quickly.”

The next words come out in a tone laced in frustration. “Will they even help us, Cas? We can’t go up there and ask them to find Lucifer when we’re not even sure it’s him. And well, it’s us,” he shakes his head and wipes a hand over his mouth.

Cas sits there and watches Dean before quietly questioning him. “‘we’?”

“I’m sure as hell not letting you go up there by yourself,” Dean’s protectiveness might as well be his own set of metaphorical ruffled feathers.

“Yes, Dear,” he smirks at Dean’s blush.

______

Once inside Sam picks Alexa up. Her legs instantly wrap around him as they get as close as possible. “Babe, it’s ok,” her hands frame his face, “I’m right here. Tell me what happened.”

He carries her over to the bed and sits so she’s rested in his lap. “It felt like I had lost you all over again.” He kisses her neck. “Everyone was gone,” he nips under her jaw then soothes it with his tongue.

“Okay, okay, Sam,” she taps his shoulders, “slow down. I know I said I’d take care of you,” she looks him straight in the eye, “and I did mean that, but first tell me what happened.”

“I’d rather not,” his hands run up her back.

“Sam,” her voice turns to ice.

“Fine,” he looks down then back up at her. “I um, had a dream. I was walking through the bunker then he showed up.” He can’t look at her as he continues. Instead he looks behind her at the door. “He told me that you, Mom, Cas, Dean, were all dead. I never saw you after Christmas, Dean killed himself after Cas was killed. I didn’t want to believe him. Then he told me to look around and left.”

“What’d you see?” she prods gently.

“Lex,” he whines and shuts his eyes. When she doesn’t cave he continues, “it was a mess, and so was I. Dean’s door had a do not enter sign on it. In my handwriting. Then I walked in here and there were liquor bottles everywhere. It was obvious I didn’t care anymore and gave up.”

“Oh sweetie. It was a nightmare,” she cooes and kisses the top of his head.

“I hope. But I freaked Dean out which made Cas call, and well here we are. Can I kiss you now?” Instead of answering Alexa rolls her eyes then leans in and captures his lips.

Later while Sam is sleeping she sneaks away. After walking finding Dean’s room and the kitchen empty, she decides to try the library where she finds them talking over a book in hushed tones. “Interrupting something?” she keeps her tone casual.

“Hey! No. Course not. You guys ok?” Dean greets her.

“Yeah. Got Sam to go back to sleep for a little. He told me what happened. I don’t like how much it sounds like what he did to me.”

“So you do think it’s Lucifer, then?” Cas stands. Apparently her opinion is enough proof to make the trip upstairs.

“Honestly, I don’t know. You think the angels will help?”

“We’ll see. Perhaps we should wait until Sam wakes up before Dean and I leave.”

“So you listened, huh,” she smirks.

“Yes, well, I find it difficult to say no to both of you,” he admits.

“Good to know,” Dean winks at her conspiratorially. “But I say we get as much jump on the bastard as we can. Lex,” he doesn’t even have to finish.

“Of course,” she gives a short nod. “Let me know when you get there, and when you’re on your way back,” she looks between the two of them to make sure they understand.

“We will,” Cas gives her arm a soft squeeze. “Pray if either of you need anything.”

“Yeah. Good luck.” she watches them take a step and then pulls both of them in for a hug. She goes to check on Sam when she hears Baby’s engine come alive. Finding him still asleep, she makes it to the couch in the library before curling up and crying. After the initial dam breaking, the tears slow and she prays.  _ To whoever’s up there with their ears on, please listen. I need you to help me and my family. My boys are all I have, and I can’t lose them. I know they’ve messed up, and caused some trouble, but welcome them, listen to them, and help them. Please.  _ Drying her eyes she stands and walks back to Sam, her angel blade and the enochian handcuffs clutched tightly in her hands until they’re placed on the nightstand.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean stops Baby a small distance from the playground. Taking a deep breath he looks to Cas, setting his phone aside and visibly steeling himself for what’s about to happen. “You ready?”

“In a minute.”

“Cas, I won’t let-” he’s interrupted.

“Dean, I hate this, but I need you to stay quiet. We need to play by their rules for a bit, at least until we know if they’re going to help us. Just follow my lead,” he looks to Dean with pleading eyes.   
  


Dean easily reads the nervousness and nods. “Yeah, Babe, you got it. We’ll do it your way.”

“Thank you.” They exit the car and start to walk to the sandbox. However, Cas holds out his arm causing Dean to halt. In a flash the angel is pressing him up against Baby in a fierce kiss. Pulling back he watches as Dean staggers and clears his throat a couple of times trying to regain his composure. “I’m sorry about that Dean. But I had to do it before they saw.”

“No need to apologize but, wanna let me in on why?”

“I just needed a bit of courage before we go,” he straightens his coat sleeves.

“You good now?” he smiles teasingly. 

“Yes,” he’s stoic facade firmly in place.

“Good, yeah, that’s good. You know I’m gonna wanna finish that when we get back, yeah?”

“I would expect so, yes.”

“Alright, just so we’re clear. Now let’s go face these asshats and get it over with.”

“Dean, we need to-” he starts.

“I know. I’ll play ball, follow your lead, all that.”

“Thank you,” he gives Dean a last once over and starts walking to the sandbox.

Dean watches appreciatively as his boyfriend turns on the smitey angel act.  _ So friggin hot. Hey Castiel, got your ears on?  _ He grins when Cas turns questioningly at him over his shoulder,  _ I am one lucky son of a bitch, Babe. _

“Dean,” he feigns annoyance when Dean steps beside him. Dean only flashes a smug smile and wink. “Are you ready?”

“As ever. Because going to heaven is always such a joy,” he says dryly.

“Yes, well hold on,” he takes Dean’s hand as he nods to the angel at the top of the slide. A moment later the two are engulfed in a swirl of light.

______

“Hello?” Cas calls as they continue to walk through the halls. “Anyone?”

“Where are they Cas?”

“I don’t know,” they round a corner and are met with a woman with short cropped hair and cold eyes. “Naomi.”

“Naomi?” Dean starts to take a step forward as Cas turns to block his path.

“Dean, remember why we’re here,” he warns. Dean stops and shares a look with Cas. After a moment he backs down but keeps his eyes trained on the female angel.

“Castiel,” she smirks, “I see you’re still on the side of,” her eyes roam distastefully over Dean, then meet Castiel’s, “them.”

Cas bites his tongue, “Naomi, now is not the time. We’re here for another reason. We need your help.”

“Oh, so you’re who we were supposed to listen to. We heard her prayer,” Dean and Cas share a confused look, “it seems she’s concerned we wouldn’t be willing to help you.”

“I am unsure who you’re talking about,” Cas says.

“Follow me Castiel,” she refuses to elaborate and walks them to an office. Opening the doors they’re greeted by several other angels. “I believe her words were,” she stops behind a desk and with a snap of her fingers Alexa’s voice fills the room, ‘I know they’ve messed up, and caused a lot of trouble, but welcome them, listen to them, and help them. Please.’ “Now, we agreed to only hear you out, so make it quick.”

Cas looks over at Dean, who clearly looks uneasy in the room full of angels, before explaining, “We believe it’s Lucifer.”

“And why do you think that?” an angel steps forward. 

“Duma, please, we know him. He’s been in three of our four heads, and need I remind you that Sam Winchester is still his perfect vessel, and very much alive?”

“We could take care of that for you,” another angel says from the crowd without revealing his face.

“Hey!” Dean starts but stops at Cas’s touch.

“You will not touch Sam. We are here to find Lucifer, and put him back in the cage, or take care of him once and for all,” Cas’s voice is as clear and sharp as a diamond.

“You would really kill an archangel Castiel; You and three humans?” Duma picks up the conversation again.

“If it came to that,” he says evenly.

“So why did you bring the other one with you?” she squints at Dean. 

“Enough,” Naomi stops the bickering as Cas’s eyes flicker and his blade drops into his hand. “Now Castiel, why do you believe it was Lucifer?”

“In our last encounter, he was very weakened. We were both banished, and it would normally be doubtful for him to have survived that. However recent history gives us reason to not take such things for granted. This morning, Sam was awoken by a scenario that could have very well been him dreamwalking.”

“And this is a matter for heaven why?” Naomi asks as if bored with this whole matter.

Cas’s frustration rises and the volume of his voice does with it. “We just need help finding him. If he’s really out there.”

“And what do we get in return?”

That’s when Dean has enough, “Okay, can we stop with the family guilt trip here?”

“Dean,” Cas tries to stop him.

“No, man, look, I get it, we’re trying to play nice, but it’s clearly not working. Now we need to know if Lucifer is back and if he’s back to stalking my brother and/or his girl. It’s really a simple answer. One that you dicks probably could’ve given us already and we would’ve been on our way leaving you be,” Dean finishes to the silent angels.

“Well, Dean Winchester isn’t just a kept man after all,” Naomi gives a condescending smirk.

“Stop it. Will you help us or not?” Cas demands. “As Dean said, if you would just give us an answer, we can be on our way.”

“Castiel, ever the soldier, aren’t you? Just fighting the wrong war. We do however agree that if this is in fact the archangel Lucifer,” Naomi sighs, “we may need to work together. Things did run more smoothly when he was in the cage. If you believe you and your humans can accomplish that, then perhaps we can come to an agreement.”

“If it’s not?” He knows it can’t be that easy, there’s always more to the deal. The ‘fine print’ as the Winchesters have called it.

“You must never set foot here again.”  _ And there it is. It could have been worse.  _ The response comes without hesitation, or waver in her voice. As if she’s been waiting for the opportunity to submit the idea.

“Fine,” Cas answers before Dean can argue.

“Then go back. We’ll contact you with the results.”

“Wait for the results? It’s not a damn blood test,” Dean fumes.

“Mr. Winchester, do not make us take back our offer of help. Those are our terms.”

Cas rests a hand on Dean’s arm, “we accept. We’ll wait for your word. Thank you.” He starts pulling Dean out of the room.

  
“Naomi, is Lucifer really out there?”

“I’m unsure Duma, but for some reason he does have a bit of an obsession with the Winchesters that rivals Castiel’s.”

“I don’t understand it.”

“Neither do I, but hopefully this will get rid of both problems.”   
  


Dean and Cas quickly make their way back out and appear back in the playground. “Cas, what the hell man?”

“Dean, you agreed to play by their rules,” he starts quickly to the car.

“And I did until they threatened you and Sammy,” he yells as he watches Cas continue to walk away from him.

He stops but still doesn’t turn. “They did not threaten me, Dean,” he hears the hunter jog to catch up.

“What? I heard them. They’re gonna ban you from Heaven. And correct me if I’m wrong, but that would mean your grace would eventually fizzle out too, right?” His voice is angry, but his eyes are frantic with worry. He starts pacing and fiddling with the keys instead of getting in the car.

“Dean,” he stops the hunter’s pacing with a touch. Turning Dean to face him, he cups his jaw and makes him look into his eyes, “Dean, that was not a threat that holds any leverage over me.” Dean skews his face in confusion so Cas continues, “I’ve been making the same choice since I met you Dean Winchester. I will always choose you. They can threaten, or they can beg, but no matter what they want, I will always choose to be with the ones I love, and who love me. My family. That answer won’t change; human or angel. Capiche?”

Dean blinks and then swallows, “I capiche.”

“Good. Now let’s go home and see how Sam is.”

“Yeah, um, should we tell them?”

“Oh yes, I should call Alexa,” the angel starts to pull out his phone, but stops as the hunter lays his hand over it. “Dean?”

“No, I mean, yes, you should tell her, but not what I was talking about,” his thumb starts running along the angel’s.

He tilts his head, “what were you talking about?”

“Us,” he seems to want to say more but can’t.

“I believe they already know about us Dean,” he tries to tease.

He lets out a deep sigh, “Cas, man, I mean, um, our new, status.”

“Dean,” he starts but Dean misinterprets it as confusion.

Dean drops his hand, taking a step back, and opens his arms in undue frustration. “Work with me here Cas, I mean what we did on my birthday, how we’re um, bonded now.”

Cas gives him a soft smile and continues his aborted question. “Would you like to tell them?”

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s been a few months now, and um, we’re, well we’re doing pretty good. Aren’t we?” He moves back into Cas’s space.

“Yes Dean, we are. What is this about? Have you been thinking about this long?”

“Not, real long,” he shrugs, and continues to not meet the angel’s eyes.

“Then what brought it on?” he asks gently.

“I just, seeing Sammy that freaked out, it made me think about how after Lucifer killed her and,” he just closes his eyes and runs his hand over his mouth unable to finish the thought.

Cas takes his hand in both of his. He holds it a moment before speaking, “Dean, if you would like to tell Sam and Alexa I have no objections. I only thought you were concealing it from them so that it would remain just ours, again no objections, since it is not the traditional marriage of sorts, but at the same time, perhaps it is something that should be shared with our family. We could say that we’ve just gotten engaged.”

Dean blushes at Cas’s easy tone while talking about this subject. “You want to? I mean, when you put it like that. Should we tell them? I feel like they’d get mad they missed it. Why can’t they just get hitched so we could have our turn?”

Cas’s smile widens as he gives a squeeze to Dean’s hand, “let’s go home Dean. When we get there, I’m sure we will figure out what to do.”

Dean collects himself and starts towards Baby. Carrying out the motions in a comfortable silence, he starts her, and begins to drive home. After a while on the road he clears his throat, “hey, uh, Cas?”

“Yes Dean?”

“Did you mean what you said back there? About choosing us?” he shifts nervously.

Cas watches in thin-veiled amusement, “did you not capiche Dean Winchester? Grace or not, I’d rather have you.” He lays his hand on Dean’s thigh.

Dean ducks his head as much as he can while driving, “yeah, ok Cas. I get it. I capiche, and me too,” he covers Cas’s hand with his own, giving it a squeeze, before settling his fingers between the angel’s.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam stirs in his sleep causing Alexa to hover her hand over the blade, but then he lets out a sigh and relaxes. Her, not so much. She lays rigid holding her phone waiting for the boys to say they are on their way. Eventually she feels herself drift off.  
  
It’s not for long, and she wakes up when Sam starts kissing her jaw. “Hey,” he smiles as she blinks her eyes open.  
  
“Hey, how’re you feeling?” she runs her hand up his back.  
  
“Better,” he leans into her touch. “You?”  
  
“Worried, but good.” Her tone does nothing to disprove her words.

He huffs a laugh against her cheek, “thanks for being honest I guess.”

“Sorry I fell asleep,” she starts sitting up.

“You don’t have to apologize for that. You need a distraction,” he runs a hand through her hair and kisses her shoulder.

“I’m good,” she says flatly.

“Lex, hey, I’m sorry I scared you. You were right, it could’ve just been a nightmare. Let’s go find Dean and Cas, get some food, and just figure out the rest tomorrow.”

“Sam, we can’t wait. This could be Lucifer. Dean and Cas already went to heaven to get their help. YOU didn’t scare me, the fact that he could be back did. How can you just push that fear away?”

He shrugs, “time in the cage with him I guess. And I have you to look out for now. But, uh, they went upstairs already?”

“Yes.”

“Huh, they usually try to avoid that place,” he runs a hand through his own hair and then lets both fall to the bed between his thighs.

“Well, I told them what you said happened sounded like what he did to me. Guess they thought it best to not wait around,” her words send them into silence.

“You, uh, you know you never said all he did to you,” he tries unsteadily.

“Have you ever told anyone everything he did to you?” She fires back.

“Um, basically, yeah,” he doesn’t flinch. “I mean, eventually. Dean knew some of it as it was happening,” he notices her confused look, “long story.”

“Right. Look, I know you went through more than me, but it was just like a perfect storm for me. Everything was so good, and so it hurt that much more. You guys told me what happened to you, but seeing it,” her eyes glaze over as the memory replays, “it hurt so much more.”

“Wait. Did he show you everything that happened to us?” He turns to watch her answer not sure he’d believe it any other way.

“Not the events exactly,” she starts toying with the blanket between her fingers.

“Then,” he thinks then turns back to her with wide eyed realization. “He showed you each time we died didn’t he?”

The tears fall as she nods. “I knew Dean killed himself after Cas because he showed me. So when you said it,” she drifts off.

“Oh my god. Lex, I, I’m so sorry. Was that all?”

“Sam,” she pleads.

“So no. It was only three days, didn’t he take a damn break?” His anger explodes and he jumps out of the bed. “I knew we took too long getting to you,” he starts pacing and runs a hand through his hair again.

“Samuel Winchester, you stop this instant. I will not have you blaming your family for something Lucifer did to me.”

“What else did he do to you?” he stops pacing and raises his voice.

“Why is it so damn important to you?” she lets her voice raise as well.

“I just want to know!”

“No. It won’t serve any purpose.” They’re staring at each other in challenge when Alexa’s phone rings. “How’d it go,” she answers a little more angrily than she meant. “Yeah, sorry. You boys on the way back? What? So what, we just sit on our asses?”

“That’s what I said!” Dean’s voice comes through.

“Dean,” Cas admonishes then continues, “Alexa, I’m sure it won’t be long, and we’re not facing this today. We need to make a plan anyway, correct?”

“Yes,” she admits.

“Okay then. Perhaps you should call Mary in as well,” there’s a mumbling and then, “and possibly Rowena too. We’ll be back shortly,” he hangs up.

“So what happened?” Sam asks.

“They agreed to help, but will get back to them with the answer of if it’s him or not.”

“They’re helping us? I wonder what that cost.”

She looks up from her phone. “Couldn’t they just help because it’s Lucifer?”

Sam snorts, “Babe, I love that you still hope that’s true.”

“What would they want though? What could we have that they’d need or want?”

“I’m sure there’s something.” Sam starts getting dressed.


	5. Chapter 5

After the possible invasion of Lucifer in the bunker,  _ their home, _ they set up their own sort of boot camp while waiting to hear from Heaven. They’d brushed up on wardings and redid the ones covering the bunker, learned protection spells in addition to getting back on a routine of training; hand-to-hand, with blades, and in the range. They each took an area and the others don’t question their leadership. Cas took wardings and blade training, Alexa manned only spells because ‘there’s enough that you don’t need to double duty’ as Dean put it. Dean was in charge of hand-to-hand and guns while Sam took general research and coordination of everyone. Mary isn’t told until she places her weekly ‘check on the kids’ phone call. However she refuses to acknowledge this is the reason for her calls, and thus will not call them as such. Once they come clean she made the executive decision to come stay at the bunker as well. She puts herself in charge of making sure they’re fed and still get sleep.

When a week goes by, and still no word, Jody shows up with Claire and Alex. Staying for a week Jody gets the full refresher, while the girls find their niches after both being taught protection spells. Alex helps with general research and takes Dean’s hand-to-hand session. Claire helps with spellwork, and takes both Dean and Cas’s trainings. There’s a lot of shared smirks and whispered ‘well she wouldn’t want to show favoritism’, but they let her enjoy the time with both of them. Mary makes sure there’s always cookies and something more substantial that can be made quickly, at the ready.

One night Alexa finds herself locked in a random bedroom of the bunker with stacks of books. Jody and the girls left and they sat down to reassess their routines. Mary said she still wanted to stay with them, but everyone can easily see that she’s starting to get antsy. She takes a hunt, but still remains close; not more than a few hours away. Alexa is starting to run out of books, but she’s starting to get the feeling that she’s missing something. Something’s in there, but she can’t see it. When she sets down the last book of the second pile, she decides to take a break. She walks to the kitchen and finds Cas slumped over the coffee pot. “Hey Cas,” she ends up coughing after not using her voice for so long.

“Hello Alexa,” he looks tired. “How’re you?”

“I think we need a day off. We’ve been here for weeks, without leaving, yet it feels like we haven’t seen each other at all. I mean Sam and I go to bed, and that’s it, we just got to bed.”

Cas smirks and runs his hand across the back of his neck. When he realizes it, the gesture makes them both smile wider, “I do know what you mean.”

“Still no word from upstairs?”

“I’m afraid not.”

Alexa lets out a sigh, “there’s gotta be something we can do. They said a few days Cas! It’s been weeks!”

“Alexa, we knew it wouldn’t be a quick fix even if they let us in and decided to help. Like most things I believe we’re going to have to rely on ourselves.”

“I’ll hit the books again,” she turns to return to her working room but stops, “have you seen the boys around?”

“Only briefly. Sam was in storage creating another collection on something. And Dean seemed to be taking out his frustration in the gun range.”

“And you’re taking out yours on the coffee pot?” she raises her brow with a teasing smile.

“It seems to be broken. Perhaps Dean can fix it again.”

“I’m pretty sure we just need a new one, man. Even a brand new one would have trouble keeping up with our demand recently.”

The angel closes his eyes and nods, “you make a very valid point.” He notices her leaving and keeps talking, “perhaps you should stay here, the brothers are bound to come in at some point as well. Perhaps we could discuss a distraction.”

“We could, or we could just suggest a movie day to them and call it done.”

“Seems as good of a plan as any. Although I feel like I should ask, is there a reason you don’t want to leave? As you said, it’s been weeks.”

“I know, I promise it’s nothing like fear or anxiety, or anything emotionally stopping me. I just find that we tend to be most relaxed when we’re just us hanging out.”

“Ok. Then I will suggest it to Dean,” he smiles letting her know he believes her.

“Good, night Cas,” she yawns and lets her eyes stay closed a few beats,  _ oh that feels good _ , “maybe I should give my eyes a break instead.”

“Of course. Goodnight Alexa,” he watches her leave. 

Not long after their talk, Sam joins Alexa in bed. Sitting down behind her he whispers, “hey, you still up?”

“Yeah I’m up babe. You need something?”

“Just you,” he smiles at her rolled eyes. “Cas said you were giving your eyes a break for the rest of the night and it sounded like a good idea. Did you hear about our movie day tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? No. Sounds like fun though.”

He settles under the covers and wraps an arm around her, “yeah. We need a day off. This whole thing has been too regimented.”

Alexa chuckles, “baby, you’re the one that made the schedule.”

“I know, and I stand by it, we need to focus, but I think we need this too. Just one day to turn it all off.”

Alexa rolls over with a soft smile to face him, “I agree baby. It’s a wonderful idea.” That night they use the extra time in bed to do a little more than just sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next few chapters are a bit longer...

The movie day seems to have relaxed everyone, so they were all able to get back to work refreshed. When Alexa picks up her fifth book something hits her. How could she be so stupid and not immediately try this. She runs through the halls calling for the boys. Once gathered, she takes a deep breath and explains her idea.

“So a tracking spell?”

“Sort of. But there’s got to be a way right? Like if we can summon them, we have to be able to work out a way to reverse it and take us to them.”

Cas squints, “but the only constant would be an angel’s grace.”

Sam thinks about it. “So then we would need his grace?”

“I’m not sure. It might make it easier? But I’d rather try to come up with a way to not need it.”

They’re all visibly running through leads in their heads thinking over the details. Dean speaks first. “You swing this by Rowena yet?”

She ignores him. “Guys, hey, I’m confident we can figure out the details, but in general, what are your thoughts?”

“It obviously makes sense. We’re looking for him so tracking him is the logical thing to do. But this wouldn’t be like a normal tracking spell,” Sam voices.

“Cas, how would Heaven be looking for him?” She turns to the angel as a sign of agreeing with Sam.

“They would be looking for his grace signature or signs of his presence, but they are able to search more widely than humans and much faster.”

“Ok, so we work out something that allows us to find where he is and take us there.” She’s already working through her plan.

“Whoa hold up, take us there?”

“Makes the most sense Dean. A portal would be quickest. A hole right to wherever he is.” She says it like it’s the most rational thing they’ve spoken about today. 

“But that’s like Harry Potter/ Doctor Strange kinda stuff.”

“I’ve been reading, and there’ve been several spells and excerpts written on the subject. I think it may be possible.”

“Lex,” she turns to see Sam looking at her with an assessing stare, “you really think it’ll work?”

“I do. If he’s out there, I bet I can come up with a sturdy skeleton of what we need to do and say.”

He gives a curt nod. “Okay then.”

“Ok,” Cas quickly adds. “I can help with any finer points you’d need as well.”

“Thanks Cas. It’s worth a shot right?”

“Yes, and if successful, it should happen faster than you found Mary.”

Dean ignores the tightening in his chest when he thinks about what happened the last time she searched for Lucifer and holds up a finger, “again, have you talked to Rowena?”

“Not yet. I wanted something a bit firmer to go on before I went to her. I- I knew this would be personal for her too.”

“Ok. Just-” he wipes a hand over his mouth. 

“Dean?” her voice is soft, finally registering the amount of emotions he’s feeling. 

“Don’t hide anything from us this time, got it? We will not have a repeat of last time.” His words are short and harsh, but his eyes show how much he’s feeling and remembering. Instead of answering she walks over and wraps him in her arms, rubbing up and down his back comfortingly. 

Pulling away she wipes her eyes as discreetly as possible, “definitely not doing that again. I’m gonna go look through a few more things then I’ll call Rowena.” After a few false starts, she eventually heads down the hall.

The three men exchange looks for a while, waiting until Alexa is out of earshot. Deeming it’s been long enough Dean starts, “I don’t know how I feel about this.”

Sam nods, “yeah, but there’s steps before we even try this thing out. At any one of those points we could find out it won’t work and she’s not in danger.”

Dean smirks, “Which you hope is soon?”

“No. I just- last time,” he stops and takes a breath, “I’m not by any means comfortable with her actively looking for him, but it may be our only shot.”

“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure Heaven isn’t going to give us any kind of help. They could’ve found him as soon as we left if they wanted.”

“There’s always the possibility that it wasn’t him,” Cas says with a bit of uneasiness. 

Dean snorts, “Oh no. I’m pretty positive those asshats would’ve come down and thrown a damn parade if it meant announcing we were wrong and you couldn’t go back.” He rolls his eyes before realizing what he said.

“What!” Sam’s head is ping ponging between the two with wide eyes. “What did you just say? Cas why can’t you go back?” Sam’s questions overshadow Dean’s guilt filled, ‘shit.’

Cas looks at Dean and then turns to Sam, “it was our agreement in exchange for their help. If we were wrong about it being Lucifer and causing them to use their resources, than I would be banned from the host for the rest of my life.”

Sam is up in a flash, “why the hell would you make a deal like that? Why would you let him do that, Dean? That’s why you guys went together, to prevent the other from doing something stupid!”

“One,” Cas says forcefully, “Dean didn’t ‘let’ me do anything. It was my decision, and one I’d make again. Two,” he continues when he sees Sam start to protest, “you brother was not thrilled with that decision either, until I explained my reasoning to him.”

“And what was your reasoning?”

“Sam,” Dean warns at his little brother’s smartmouth tone.

“Sorry, but you need the host to stay an angel, right?”

“I do. But I do not need to stay an angel,” he pauses to give Sam time. When the implication registers, the younger brother looks up at him still confused. “The only thing they can offer me is the restoration of my grace. But thanks to my time on earth, with the two of you, I’ve known for some time now, that I do not need that to be of use. The only thing I will miss will be the ability to heal my family, so I must ask that you now take extra care to not get injured.”

“Cas, man I- I’m sorry. Does-” he looks down the hall, “am I the last to know?”

Now it’s the angel’s turn to look guilty. “Ah, no. You and Dean are the only ones that know the terms of the agreement besides the angels.”

“She’s gonna be pissed.”

“I’m aware. I feel like she will understand though.”

“You mean you hope,” Sam smirks and repeats his brother’s words from earlier. After a second he looks down the hall again, “I’m actually gonna go see if she needs help.”

“Ah, Sam?” Dean stops him.

“Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”

“Thank you,” Cas nods and leans against the table, crossing his arms. Sam waves his goodnight and leaves them alone.

“Sorry,” Dean says walking over and leaning next to Cas.

“It’s alright Dean. Unfortunately I had a similar thought.”

Dean raises his hand and slides his fingers through the hair at the angel’s temple, “wanna head to bed?”

“I suppose there’s nothing else we can do at the moment.”

“You want to go help don’t you?”

“Yes, but tomorrow.” Cas stands and turns. Wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck he settles in between the hunter’s legs and presses a gentle peck to his cheek. “Would you like to go to bed Dean?”

Dean gulps, looking him up and down to make sure he’s reading this right, “yeah, um, we should do that.” 

————

The next morning after breakfast all four head into the room Alexa’s been using. Opening the door they’re met with stacks upon stacks of books. Alexa walks them through which stack is what, and which ones haven’t been read through yet. After they’ve each gone through two books each Dean calls a lunch break. He and Sam conveniently leave Cas and Alexa alone while they get the food.

“Mary will be here soon. Why did they leave?”

“I believe it is their unsubtle way of making me tell you something.” He closes his current book.

“Tell me what? You guys don’t think it’ll work, do you? I know it’s a long shot but-” Cas interrupts her.

“That’s not it Alexa. It’s about the terms of Heaven’s agreement to help us.”

“What about it? Sam told me it probably cost something. What was it? What do they want?” With each question the veil hiding her apprehension thins.

“Alexa relax. In order for them to help us I had to agree that if this wasn’t Lucifer, I would be banned for the rest of my life.” Alexa stares stock still. “Alexa?”

“You- I’m so sorry Cas.” She hugs him.

Laughing sadly he pats her back, “It’s ok Alexa. If it comes to that I will only miss being able to heal the three of you. Well you, and any of our friends.”

“It won’t come to that.”

“Alexa there’s a chance.”

Cas sighs as Alexa ignores him, her mind apparently made up, and charges on, “I’m going to call Rowena. She can help us work these random passages into something useful. She’ll also be more insight on him.” Cas watches her a moment before picking his book up and reading until Sam and Dean return. 

_____

As they’re finishing up lunch, Mary walks back in proudly announcing her bags of food, which she promptly lowers at seeing the kids clean their plates.

“Hey mom!” Dean says through a full mouth.

“I was trying to surprise you guys,” she places the bags on the table with a frown. “How’s it going?”

Sam wraps her in a one armed hug as he puts his plate in the sink, “We’re good. May have a theory.”

“Theories are good.” Any further thought stops as she watches Dean start digging through the bags. “Really?”

He shrugs, “might be something good.” Mary smiles as she looks to Cas who just rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“Also, Rowena will be here in a bit. She’s helping us with said theory.”

“The witch? Really?”

“Mom, she knows how to work a spell. It’s personal for her too, and well, she really likes Lex for some reason.”

“Because I’m awesome,” Alexa smiles and takes her plate over as well. 

“There is that,” he kisses the top of her head.

“What’s the real reason?” Mary isn’t sure how she feels about the easiness of their acceptance.  _ Do they not know what they’re about to deal with? Again?! And what happened last time…  _ as if reading her thoughts Dean breaks in. “Sorry, what?”

“I said we know what we’re getting into, but it’s not going to be zero to six hundred again. We’re doing this together, and one step at a time.” Mary just nods and sits in Sam’s vacated seat. 

Alexa excuses herself to prepare for Rowena’s arrival. Not long after she’s cleaned up the room and feels ready-  _ why does this feel like a job interview?-  _ she heads back to wait with the others. When the door opens, their heads snap up and watch as the woman descends the stairs, “Hello Winchesters. Lovely to see you.” She stops in front of Alexa, “Hello dear, good to hear from you, although not with the news I wanted. How would you like to start?”

“I was actually thinking it’d be best if I explained it one on one. I have a room down the hall with all my research.”

“Very well, what room number?” After Alexa tells her she confidently walks as though she does it every day. Alexa takes a deep breath and starts to follow, until Dean reaches out a hand to her bicep.

“Now remember, if you hear ominous chanting, the appropriate response is to run.”

“Dean.” Alexa responds.

“Seriously. Rowena, has a way to get in your head. Just keep your wits about you is all I’m saying.”

“Yes dear, I’ll keep that in mind,” she pats him on the shoulder as she follows after the redhead.

“So now what?” Cas asks still watching the hall.

“We can keep looking through these books on Angels.” Sam gestures to the small stacks on the table.

“Might as well. What are we looking for sweetie?” Mary asks.

Sam sniffs, “anything on tracking an angel, portals, or human teleportation.”

“Right, just a normal Thursday.” She smiles and takes a book. 

________________

It’s oddly quiet until Rowena suddenly walks into the room. “Oh, aren’t you lot helpful?” She says sarcastically. “What is this?” she picks up a book and scoffs.

“How’d it go? What happened?” Sam can’t help asking with expectant wide eyes. 

“Your girl is on to something, Samuel. I’ll be staying a few days while we work out some of the finer bits.”

It’s hard to find the right words but he eventually works his mouth enough to get out, “uh, yeah, sure. Thank you.”

“I’ll show you to a room, Rowena,” Cas offers.

“Thank you dearie.”

They silently walk down the hall until Cas stops in front of a door and opens it. Rowena looks around the room with a raised finely shaped eyebrow. “Well, it’s certainly not the Ritz, is it?” Cas rolls his eyes as she swipes a finger over the desk and curls her lip in disgust. “I suppose it’ll work though.”

Now that they’re alone, Cas asks what he’s been on his mind since she arrived. He clears his throat, “between you and I, Rowena, is this possible?”

“The basic elements are there. But in practice it seems to be missing something.”

“Alexa is very determined in this. I’m unsure if that is a good or bad thing. She’s very intelligent though, and always seems to surprise me.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Rowena rolls her eyes and stands with arms crossed in front of the angel. Despite only coming to his shoulder, in heels, her presence is just as tall.

He schools his features and says as seriously as he can, “that’s a dangerous statement. For there are many things you do not know, and even more which should be kept secret.”

“You’re annoyingly cryptic angel,” she narrows her eyes. 

“I try,” the corner of his lip twitches.

“You know I like this new cheekiness. Classic rock and flannel looks good on you,” she winks. “Thank goodness Fergus isn’t here to gloat over winning our wee bet,” she waves him off. 

“You had a bet on Dean and I?” he questions breaking all pretense.

“Oh sweetheart, what angel, human, or demon didn’t? You two weren’t exactly subtle. Now shoo, I have work to do.” He hesitates, but then turns and returns to the others leaving Rowena to settle in.


	7. Chapter 7

It’s been a couple of days since they got their new roommate. The first day was spent comparing the research with what Rowena knows, and starting to compile similar enochian spells. Day two was about testing them. After convincing Cas to help them, he only agreed if he could read them first. One spell sent him to the kitchen, crashing to the floor. It would have been considered successful for teleportation if they hadn’t meant to send him outside where Sam and Dean were waiting. The next three were duds when trying to send Alexa. Cas then suggests working on trying to find a working portal spell that would be a less ‘jarring form of travel’, before leaving them to more research. When they’re still not successful, Rowena leaves the bunker the next morning to follow up on more leads that might help them. 

Without many wins in the portal category, they begin discussing taking cases again. Mary takes them, instead saying they should take another day off. While discussing this option, Cas is surprised when he gets a call from Rowena. He excuses himself to the confusion of the others and listens as she explains her findings. “And this will work?”

“It should. I don’t know how long it will remain open. I’m sending it to Alexa now, but you should read it over as well. It’s all very cryptic, but if you figure it out, I’m told it will be what you’re looking for.”

“Rowena, there’s a lot in what you just said that isn’t exactly reassuring.”

“It’s the best I can do. Just look it over.” She hangs up. 

Cas walks back into the room, “Alexa can I see you in private please?” She gets up and follows the angel. Once in the room he closes the door behind her, “Rowena may have found something, but we need to read it over and decipher it first. There’s also the possibility that it may not work at all.”

“Did she say it would?”

“She was told so, yes. But by who I do not know, and therefore do not trust.” Just then his phone rings again. His confused expression causes Alexa to lean over and look at the caller ID, only there’s nothing on the screen. It just says ‘calling…’. “Hello,” he answers. “Duma? How did you get this, nevermind, what did you find out?” He goes quiet, and closes his eyes, “I see, thank you. Yes, I know that was the agreement. I understand. I said I understood, Duma,” he pulls the phone from his ear and turns, running his hands over his face and through his hair. 

Alexa doesn’t wait and just hugs him from behind. “I’m so sorry Cas. But hey, at least we can stop looking for Lucifer?” she wipes her eyes as he turns around.

“That’s not exactly what happened Alexa. Duma said that they believe he is back,” he continues despite her gasp, “however they couldn’t find any solid evidence of him sleepwalking in Sam’s dream. Because of that I am not banned from heaven, but am still not allowed to contact them until they contact me.”

“So, you’re still being punished for being right?”

“In a sense. I should go tell Sam and Dean. Feel free to look over the spell yourself, but don’t try anything until I do so as well, ok?”

“Yeah, of course, Cas. Let me know when you’re ready. Take as much time as you need.”

He starts to walk away but stops, “Alexa, I appreciate it, but we now have confirmation that we’re up against Lucifer, we can’t spare any unnecessary time.” With that he continues walking. Alexa watches him leave and then opens the message from Rowena to begin working through it. She works until there’s a knock on the door. Expecting it to be Cas she opens it and starts quickly talking about things until she hears Sam say her name.

“Sam?”

“Yeah. Baby, we should get some sleep,” he says and begins pulling her towards him. 

“Where’s Cas?” she asks going easily.

“He told us. Then Dean took him for a drive. They’re still out,” his eyes fall to the floor.

Alexa walks over and cups his jaw gently in her palm, “are you ok sweetie?”

“As much as I can be. I can’t believe those asshats are still punishing him though.” His laugh is void of any humor, “How messed up is it that I’m more upset right now about that than Lucifer being out there again?”

“I know sweetie, and you’re right. We should go to bed. It’s been an eventful day and you need to process. We’ll start back at it in the morning.” She takes his hand and leads him to their room. He doesn’t question her abrupt change of subject, and follows along. 

When morning comes, breakfast is quietly shared between Sam and Alexa with still no sign of Dean and Cas. Alexa leaves Sam to help Mary with something over the phone, and goes back to deciphering. She pauses her reading when there’s a soft knock on the door. Alexa opens it quickly when the knock turns into the deep voice of their angel. He doesn’t supply any explanation of where they’ve been and she thankfully doesn’t ask. Instead she shows him the spell notes and what she’s worked on so far. He reads through it a few times, but then tells her to hold on and leaves hurriedly. He returns in a moment carrying a book. Opening it he flips through until he finds a certain section. Rereading it, he then passes it to Alexa. “I believe this is what they’re referring to.”

“Oh, that um, sounds difficult. Should we tell the boys?”

“Yes, we probably should,” he agrees reluctantly.

______

“What is this vessel with grace?” Dean stands with cocked hip, an arm across his chest, the other hand held in the air, and his face contorted. Basically anyone that sees him would read the confusion in bold, flashing, neon letters.

“As it says, a vessel that contains grace,” Cas tries to explain again while the other two watch.

“So possessed,” Dean repeats.

“No. It has to be a human vessel that is able to withstand the power of the grace,” Cas explains calmly.

“Still not seeing the difference, but ok. Let’s do this,” he resigns.

“Dean,” Cas drops his tone, “it can’t be you.”

“What? Why?” The confusion is back.

Cas lets out a deep sigh and looks between them, “Alexa can I speak with you?”

“What?” all three echo.

“Cas?” Sam’s question goes ignored.

“Yeah, course.” She follows the angel out of the room while the brothers now share looks of puzzlement.

“Alexa, obviously it will be my grace for the spell so,” he’s interrupted.

“So then Dean would be the better choice.”

“No. Dean wouldn’t, he wouldn’t work for the spell, there needs to be a distinct difference between vessel and grace.”

“Ok, so then why-” she stops as her eyes go wide, “You did it?” she asks excitedly

Cas sighs, “keep your voice down. And no, not because of that. It’s because when I rose Dean, I had to use some of my grace to piece him back together. He’s had a bit of my grace in him for the past decade. It’s the reason for our bond,” he looks away almost ashamedly.

“Oh. Hey, Cas, it’s fine. So ok, I say yes, come at me bro,” she holds out her arms with a smile.

“Alexa,” he grins thankful for her humor, “you don’t exactly need to say yes to me. It’ll just be a small amount which I’ll extract momentarily. But you should know that it will still cause some side effects,” he gets serious again.

Choosing her words carefully she asks, “Will I burn out? Cas you know what it’s like for an angel having a different grace than their own, isn’t it going to be worse for a human?”

“Alexa, I believe you should be able to control it. You will get minor powers, but using them will burn through it faster and give us less time.”

“Ok. Then let’s not waste anymore time. Let’s go tell our boys,” she starts walking back. Cas looks upward for a moment, as if seeking an answer, and then follows after her.

“So what’s the plan? Claire?” Sam asks.

“No, Sam-” he starts but Alexa interrupts him.

“I’m doing it. It’ll be fine. I’ll perform the spell while you three go find Lucifer.”

“What? Lex? Why? You’re not his vessel, wouldn’t that mess things up?”

“Sam, it’s fine. I know the spell the best anyway, and it’s too important. I got this.”

After studying Alexa for a moment and determining that she’s sincere in her confidence, he asks, “Cas, are you sure?” 

“Yes, I believe we have everything that should be needed, and she’s strong enough to handle it. I just need to extract some and then we can start.”

“Wait your’s? Is that smart?” Dean jumps in even more concerned now.

“It’s a very small amount. It won’t weaken me at all. Consider it like drawing blood.”

“I don’t like this,” he pouts.

Sam clears his throat, “Cas do you want me to, uh-” he stops suddenly feeling like extracting Cas’s grace would be rather an intimate act.

“No I’ll do it,” Dean answers for him and keeps his eyes locked on the angel. “Come on, let’s go.” He takes Cas’s hand leaving Alexa and Sam alone.

“You sure about this? I don’t like this much either.” Sam comes over and wraps his arms around her waist.

She rests her hands on his chest, lost in thought for a moment before she looks up. “It’ll be fine Sam. It’s not like he’s possessing me, although even if he had to, it’s Cas. Of course I’d say yes.”

“But you know what grace can do to a human. And when you’re not it’s vessel.”

“I know but it’ll be fine. As he said, it’s a very small amount.”

His hand wraps around the back of her neck pulling her closer. Dropping a kiss to the top of her head he pulls back, “I trust you.”

She gives his wrist a gentle clench then drops her hand to his waist. “Thank you Sam. We’ve got this.” She winks.

The smile it brings drops as Dean and Cas re-enter the room a few minutes later. “Alright, let’s do this. We should grab the gear and so forth while they set up the spell. We can go as soon as she says so.”

“Uh, yeah,” Sam drops his hand, but gives her a quick nod before following after his brother.

“They’re worried,” Alexa and Cas say in unison. Then drop their heads with a grin.

“It is a powerful spell. You sure you’re ready for it right now? We can call Rowena, she did find the spell.”

“Cas, you don’t have to be worried either. I’ll be ok. Now go grab me my ingredients while I take a shot of whiskey, yeah?”

Cas shakes his head, “another reason my grace will be easier on you; you’re very much like Dean in many ways.”

“And we all know how much your ‘grace’,” she air quotes with a roll of her eyes, “likes him,” she smirks.

“Yes. Well you should see his soul,” he gathers a few vials and the bowl.

“Oh gross, I don’t need to hear that,” she laughs. Cas places the items in front of her and just stands admiring with a smile. “What?”

“Sometimes I forget how amazing of a woman you are, instead of just an incredible hunter.”

“Aww, thanks Cas, but let’s not get mushy; heads in the game. You three come back to me, got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he lets his eyes crinkle with his smile.

Alexa returns the smile and points a finger at him. “Good. The other two are gonna get the same pep talk.”

“You guys ready?” Sam asks nervously as they walk back in, almost as if he’s hoping the answer is no.

“Yep. Just gotta get juiced up. But first the pep talk. Dean, Sam, stay focused, and bring your asses back home got it? I want all three of you home for dinner.”

“Yes ma’am,” Dean echo’s Cas’s response. Although it’s obvious Dean was the influence here.

“Lex,” Sam moves closer.

“No Sam, none of that. I won’t accept it. You go, gank the son of a bitch, and come home. We have a wedding coming up remember?”

“Can’t wait,” he leans in for a slow kiss.

“Alright, alright, make out when you get back,” Dean jeers making Sam and Alexa break apart sheepishly.

“Ok Cas, hand it over,” she holds out her hand and Cas places the glowing vial in her palm. Wrapping her fingers around it she takes a deep breath and holds the stopper. Letting it out she looks at her boys, “Here we go.” She pulls out the stopper and empties the grace in her mouth. A second later her eyes flare and she stumbles slightly. All three reach out to steady her, but she feels a warmth from Dean and a burning where Cas’s hand is on her. She waves them off and blinks a few times.

“Alexa, are you alright?” She hears Cas ask.

“Yeah, but you have to move further away from me, your grace feels you,” she says through closed eyes.

“Right, sorry,” he drops his hand and takes a few steps backward. 

“Lex, hey, you ok? Open your eyes,” Sam almost begs.

She does, and although she feels concern, she doesn’t feel the same love she normally would when looking at Sam. She cocks her head but then nods, “yeah, fine. Let me start this spell.” She turns and bumps into Dean who’s incredibly close to her, “oh. Sorry,” she looks up and  _ damn Dean. He really is gorgeous. And omg is that his soul?! That’s what Cas sees? It’s so beautiful. Wait, how can I?  _ She mentally runs through the tendrils of grace and feels the power. “Wow Cas, I didn’t realize how powerful you were. Even that little bit is giving me all sorts of feels.”

“Are you sure you can do this?” Again the warmth radiates from Dean’s hand on her shoulder. She has to swallow and can’t meet his eyes but nods. Then clears her throat to start the spell.

The Enochian and Latin roll off her tongue as a portal opens. “Guess this is us,” Sam peers through it.

“Go and hurry back. I’ll keep the door unlocked for ya,” she winks.

“Right,” Sam looks like he’s about to kiss her again but decides not to; giving her a nod instead.

“Dean you go next,” Cas says calmly and turns his attention to the portal again. 

“I’m staying.”

“What?” He turns back to Dean. 

“I um, yeah, I’m staying with Alexa. It doesn’t feel right leaving her alone. Besides, you two know where you’re going and the best way to beat him. You’ll be fine. And like she said, you bring your asses home.”

“Dean,” Cas reaches for Dean, but is blocked when Dean’s arm comes up and grabs his wrist before interlocking their fingers. Holding on, they stare at each other for a few moments before Dean blinks, and Cas looks away. “When we get back, Dean.” Alexa feels her chest tighten with worry and love as she watches them. Cas swiftly moves to the portal. With a flash Cas and Sam are gone. 

“You still feel ok?” his voice still thick with emotion.

“Dean, would you please stop asking that. Yes, Cas is much more powerful than I was expecting, and there are certain things his grace is causing in me, but it’s fine.”

“What do you mean certain things? Is it painful? I can run and grab them, they couldn’t have gotten far.”

“Dean,” she glares.

“Yeah, ok, just worried. And I don’t know if I like you with Cas’s grace, you were already too much like him,” he paces a minute before coming and sitting next to her.

She snorts, “he said the same before he gave me his grace.” 

“What?” his green eyes fill with suspicion.

“He said I’m a lot like you. You boys missed it, we had a whole moment,” she winks and causes him to smile. It makes her feel like that’s her only goal. She clears her throat at the urge to reach for him, “what do you want to do now?”

“Don’t you have to keep the portal open?”

“Well yeah, but I figure that if I wait ‘ til it flickers, I’ll use less grace, and can therefore keep it open longer. Also I need the distraction.”

“Got it. That’s pretty smart actually.”

“Thanks,” silence falls around them and Alexa notices how comfortable it is. Not that she’s ever had an issue being alone with Dean though.

“Did Cas tell you why it couldn’t have been me?”

“Yeah, why?” she notices his face and continues, “Was I not supposed to know that he used some of his grace when he pulled you from Hell?”

“Oh, yeah,” a flash of relief- _that’s interesting, he was expecting a different reason?- _that crosses his face before he continues, “when he pulled me out and then used,” his face changes again, this time to confusion, “wait, wouldn’t that have made me a better choice?”

Alexa laughs, “that’s the exact point I made. But it has to be an obvious division of grace and soul. Yours is too blended, especially after a decade. And Sam, well that would’ve just been awkward for him.”

“What? Why?”

“I can feel his grace and what it does when you’re near,” she finds her teeth pulling her bottom lip in as her eyes roam over his form again.

“Which is?” he breaks her from her reverie.

“Ask your boyfriend.” His resulting blush ends the conversation and they fall into an easy silence again. 

They piddle around until Dean gets hungry and Alexa’s nerves get the better of her, which means they both need food. Dean offers to make them something. When he gets an odd feeling, he quickly goes back, without the food. Something is very wrong. “Alexa,” he asks concerned, “what’s happening?” She doesn’t answer and just keeps saying the spell. After a rendition her eyes glow brightly and she takes a deep breath.

“I don’t know how much time I have, I don’t know what’s going on, but all of a sudden it keeps wanting to close. It flickered so I ran through it again, but then it almost instantly started to close again. If I throw a bit more grace at it, it gives a few more minutes, but I don’t know, I’m starting to feel it. I’ve prayed to Cas already as well, but have no way of knowing if he heard. I can’t let this close until they’re back. I can’t.” There’s a crackling noise as the aura around the portal starts to recoil on itself. Instantly she’s back to casting the spell.

Dean watches in nothing short of shock, absorbing what she just word vomited on him, what’s happening in front of him, the worry for his brother and angel, and comes up with an idea. He looks back to Alexa. “Yes and no questions, ok? Nod or shake; got it?” she nods. “Okay, first, are you running low on grace?” She shrugs. “Right, Sorry. You wouldn’t know. Well when Cas is low, he gets human needs like hunger, thirst, fatigue. Feeling those?” She breaks eye contact with the text,  _ let’s face it she knows it by heart now _ , and glares at him. “Still human sorry. More grace means more time?” She nods. “How the hell can we get more grace?”  _ Cas, buddy, we need you and Sam to book it out of there. Come on home _ . Alexa starts to cough and Dean rushes to rub her back. He notices her stiffen under his touch and removes his hand. “Sorry. You ok?” She sites the spell again and her eyes glow, but instead of feeling weak, she feels stronger.  _ Dean. _ His bit of Cas’s grace must give her a boost.

“Dean stay close.”

“What? Why?” he asks unsure.

“I can’t say, but stay close. If I start to fail again rub my back or some kind of touch, got it?”

“Um, yeah, but hey, that’s a little weird isn’t it?” She knows he’ll do it, but she hears the hesitance loud and clear.

“Just do it. I don’t know, but it helps,” she manages a weak smile.

“Yeah, ok, you got it. I’m calling Rowena too. She’s gotta know what’s going on.” Dean tries several times to call the redhead but to no avail. “Son of a bitch! If this was a damn trap,” he fumes and starts to pace until Alexa coughs and he’s by her side again.

After a few hours Alexa’s coughing fits have become almost constant. Dean stays next to her rubbing her back, wiping her forehead when the sweating starts, and anything else that will give her a bit more juice and comfort. He even starts to mouth the words along with her. When one particularly bad fit causes her to stop reciting completely, Dean is horrified to see spots of blood on the pages.

“Alexa, you can’t keep going. You have to stop.”

“Can’t. Sam. Cas.” Each word takes an entire breath to get out.

“I know, I do. But we can’t lose you,” he begs.

“Keep going,” She goes back to her spell.

“I’m calling Rowena again,” he starts to stand but Alexa’s hand flies out and anchors to his left bicep, oddly in the same spot as Cas’s handprint all those years ago. “Lex?” he manages through his gasp. 

She sits up straight, eyes glowing, and says the words again but in a much more urgent and confident tone. The circle burns brighter than it has in several hours. Dropping her hand she takes a shaky inhale of air, “I think I’m almost empty, Dean,” her tone is equal parts disappointment and terrified. She coughs and wipes at her face as a drop of blood comes from her nose. She stares at it a moment before her blurry, tear filled eyes look up at Dean, “I’m so sorry.”

She hears the tell-tale crackle and starts over. Dean sends another prayer to Cas. Before Alexa can get to the last lines, she’s wobbling. She feels Dean stand, muffled voices, and then quiet. Everything goes dark.   
  


Sam drops everything, “Lex!” he scoops her into his arms. “God it feels like she’s on fire, Dean how didn’t you notice?” Dean starts to answer but his brother is already halfway down the hall.

“Dean are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he’s still leaning on the table, “Cas, I’m fine. I’m not the one being carried to the medbay. Come on, we should go.”

“In a moment Dean, look at me,” Dean looks up, “are you positive you’re alright?”

Any energy to argue is just gone. “Just a lot. I didn’t notice how warm she actually was because it just felt like touching you. Like I wiped her sweat and kept her hydrated, but it just felt like,” he makes a vague gesture to the angel.

Cas looks him up and down and then nods, “we should go now. But we need to discuss this once Alexa is better.”

“Yeah,” he starts to follow Cas but stops, “Hey Cas?” he turns, “she, uh, mentioned that your grace does things when I’m near. What was she talking about?”

Cas drops his eyes, “We should discuss this later Dean. In private.”

“Come on man, just tell me. Is it bad? Am I hurting you somehow?”

Cas looks up questioning the worry,  _ how could he,  _ “no Dean, it’s not painful,” he smiles. “We should at least make sure that Sam and Alexa don’t need us, then we can talk.”

“Aw, Cas, I don’t wanna ‘talk’, just tell me, talking always turns into, you know, deeper things,” he whines.

“Dean,” is his only response.

“Fine.” The two walk to the medbay and see Sam fussing around Alexa who’s still unconscious.

“Finally! Where the hell have you two been? Cas this was your grace can you fix it? Why isn’t she waking up? Dean call Rowena, maybe she can help figure this out too,” he starts barking out orders.

“Sam calm down, she just passed out. She’ll be ok with some rest.”

“How do you know?” he accuses, but purely out of worry.

“Because I would never put her in serious danger.” Cas’s answer is calm and collected despite his own worry.

“Why did this happen then?” Sam starts fussing over her again.

“I’m not sure. I won’t know what went on until she wakes up. There are several possibilities; she may have had a reaction to my grace that made it burn faster than theorised, she may have used more than was expected, she-” he’s unable to finish when Dean interrupts.

“She had to use more than planned to keep the portal open,” he says. “She had a plan of using very little, and everything was fine, but then, I don’t know, it started to flicker out, so she figured out that by somehow using more grace,” he looks to Cas, “it kept it open longer. She wouldn’t stop, even when she started to sweat and cough. It was like watching you and the trials,” he looks to his brother who snaps his head up at that, then looks back to Cas. “Then she figured out that she could like, siphon more grace off me, and had me stay close.”

“How the hell did she get grace from you Dean? Is this some angel mating thing?” Sam breaks in. 

“What? Dude!” Dean is unsure if he’s more shocked by the crassness, or how close to the truth the statement is. 

“It’s because of my rebuilding of Dean’s body when I raised him,” Cas keeps his eyes on Dean as a warning to not say something he’ll regret. “I needed to use my grace to put him back together, and he carries a bit in him.”

“It didn’t, I don’t know, fade away?” Sam wonders out loud.

The angel gives the younger Winchester a steady look, “it appears it doesn’t want to.” Cas answers and Sam’s eyes drop back to Alexa. “Now if you let me look her over, I can verify that she’s alright.”

“Yeah, of course, man. Sorry,” he offers sheepishly and shuffles back away from the bed. Cas walks over and hovers a steady hand over Alexa’s prone form. When he closes his eyes Sam takes it as something being wrong and quickly asks, “is she ok?”

“She’s fine Sam. All of my grace is gone, and as I said, she has just lost consciousness from overexertion. She should be fine with some rest. Once she’s well again we’ll discuss our next option.”

Sam finally takes a full breath and lets it out before speaking again, “yeah, but we’re not doing that until we figure out what happened and she’s stronger.”

Dean answers with a strong hand on his brother’s shoulder, “of course Sammy. Cas and I have to talk about some things, but we’ll be back.”

“Um, yeah, ok. I’ll be here.”

“Course you will,” he gives a light tap, then gestures for Cas to follow him. Once they’re out in the hall again, Dean stops and leans against the wall.

“Dean, you’re not alright. You should rest as well.”

“I’m better than Lex, man. It’s fine. What happened once you guys left?”

“Dean, perhaps we should get you some food and make sure Sam is settled before we talk.”

“Cas?”

“Trust me Dean, I have an inclination as to how you’ll react to our talk, and it’s best if we don’t have disturbances.”

Cas’s intense eyes don’t waver from Dean’s making the hunter gulp with sudden interest. He flushes, “uh, ok, yeah, let’s take care of Sammy before we talk.”

“Dean,” the hunter turns, “make food, I’ll get Sam’s things,” he smiles.

“Teamwork, right, good plan,” he quickly makes his way to the kitchen while Cas gathers a change of clothes and a blanket for Sam. Walking back to the other room he knocks before entering, “here you are Sam. I figured you would be staying with her until she woke up,” he nods to the pile in his hands. “I suppose Dean will be making you food and bringing it in shortly as well.”

“Thank you Cas, and about earlier,” he starts.

“There’s no need Sam. I understand.”

“It still wasn’t right. After everything you’ve risked,” he shakes his head. “You and Dean seemed like you were talking about something before we left, something serious, everything ok?”

“Of course Sam, why wouldn’t it be?”

He shrugs, “just how touchy Dean got when I threw that angel mating comment out. Was worried you guys broke up or had a fight.”

“Not at all Sam. Dean and I were discussing something rather serious, but nothing bad. We agreed to finish the discussion when we got back, that’s all.”

“Right, night Cas,” he ends the conversation.

“Goodnight Sam,” Cas leaves and walks to the kitchen.

“There you are Angel,” Dean greets with a smile. He walks to the table with two plates, “know it’s not much, but it was fast. I’m gonna go take Sammy some then I’ll be right back.”

“It’s fine Dean, thank you. And I told him you would be doing so,” Cas watches as he walks out then takes a couple of beers from the fridge.

Dean walks back in and notices the bottles, “good choice man. Figured the leftovers would be enough.”

“They’re fine, especially since I don’t need to eat them.”

“Don’t lie. I know you love it,” he winks. Cas smiles and scoops a forkful into his mouth, winking back. They eat quietly, and sit for a moment in silence. A moment longer and the silence tips to stiff tension knowing they have to talk. “So,” Dean breaks, “should I prepare for anything?”

“What are you worried about Dean?”

“I don’t know man. Alexa, she was different with your grace. And um, don’t tell Sammy, but I’m pretty sure she checked me out.”

Cas laughs, “I don’t doubt she did. You’re very attractive even when you can’t see your soul.”

“Wait, she could see my soul?” his beer pauses its journey to his lips.

“I believe so, yes,” he gives him a wide smile.

Dean shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Is that all she could see?”

“I’m unsure of the extent of what she felt, but I believe her emotions were swayed a bit. But we should probably discuss the rest of this in our room Dean.” He gets up and takes their plates to the sink.

Dean watches and decides to stall just a little longer on their talk. “Ok, so then how did the trip go?”

That causes the angel to let out a sigh. “I’m not sure the spell was correct. We come out into a field, and walked for a while before we saw anything,” the angel’s demeanor completely changes, and goes from flirty to tired frustration at the memory. “We didn’t get too look into much before I heard your prayers and we turned back. It seemed as though the way back took longer, though I’m unsure how that would be possible.”

“So where did you end up? Was he even there?”

Cas folds his arms across his chest as he leans back against the counter, “somewhere in rural Iowa. And it seemed unlikely.” Running a hand through his hair he looks back at Dean, “I wish it hadn’t taken the toll it did. We should call Rowena and have her fix it or look for something else.”

“And you think she’ll do that?” Dean side eyes him.

“Have you been able to reach her? I don’t see a different purpose of that spell though.”

Dean groans, “this was a damn trap wasn’t it?”

“I’m unsure, I don’t believe she would have put Alexa in danger. It’s possible that Alexa and I deciphered it incorrectly.”

“But she wouldn’t have known it was going to be Lex. And wait, did she not read the spell at all? How is that not a trap?”

“Dean,” when the hunter continues to pace and ramble, Cas walks back to the table and leans against the wall instead of stopping him. Dean seems to notice the movement and walks toward him, stopping between his legs. Cas looks up, gauging if the hunters rant is over, “hello Dean.”

“Tomorrow?” he says sheepishly.

“I believe that’s best” Cas says easily.

“We should go finish our other discussion,” he holds out a hand.

Taking it, Cas waits for Dean to take a step back before standing, “do you want to check on Alexa again before we go?”

“Nah. I told Sam to let us know as soon as she woke up. Now come tell me what I do to you,” he turns on his best flirty face.

“You realize I’ve had a decade of resisting that exact face,” he scowls.

Dean purses his lips, “hmm, that is true. Cracked you eventually though. So how ‘bout you  _ show  _ me what I do to you?” 

“You sure that’s what you want?” he cocks a brow and keeps his serious face. Dean suddenly feels he has far too many layers on. Licking his lips he can only nod. “Very well.” In an instant they’re in the bedroom with Dean pinned to the door, locked in a scorching kiss. He pats Cas on the shoulder causing the angel to instantly cool and take a step back. “Dean?”

“Sorry, just,” he pants, “I was wrong.” Cas tilts his head at a loss for words. Dean quickly amends, “no I mean, tell me. I wanna hear you say it,” he flashes a smug smile.

Cas breaks into a happy lopsided one instead, then he leans in for a slow, gentle kiss, “you, Dean Winchester, are a sap.”

“Guess that’s what you do to me,” he says dropping the killer smile to a dopey grin. Cas shakes his head and continues to tenderly undress his mate. When he slides a hand under Dean’s shirt, the lust blown green eyes flutter closed, “Cas.”

“Yes Dean?” Cas’s hand hovers over Dean’s left nipple.

“Tell me before I stop caring?” his heartbeat racing.

Cas laughs and nips his jaw, “of course. Well, to begin with, when I look at you, not only do I see an attractive human, but I see a blindingly beautiful soul,” he slides his hand to Dean’s side, rubbing his thumb along a rib. “Then, my very being, wants to pull you to me, have you close, to feel complete.” He looks up and sees Dean looking at him in awe. Taking the man’s face in his hands, he places a chaste peck to his lips. Fingers carding through his hair is his only response, so he continues, “your every emotion I feel as if it were my own. Your touch,” he leans into the palm of the hand still resting in his hair, “spreads a warmth through me, that makes me feel nothing short of completely alive and fulfilling a purpose.”

“That all?” Dean chokes out.

Moving closer to him, Cas moves both hands to Dean’s denim-clad hips, applying the slightest bit of possessive pressure, “in simple terms, yes.”

“You know, that was a lot less sexy and a lot more romantic than I was expecting,” he wraps his arms around the angel pulling him even closer.

Cas presses a trail of soft kisses to the crook of Dean’s neck, “ah, yes, well, it’s a shame you don’t find more pleasure in that,” the tease is anything but when it comes out in the low growl of Castiel’s voice.

“Oh son of a bitch,” he grabs Cas’s lapels and seals their lips in a bruising kiss. The next scene is a flurry of hands and flying clothing until they’re both only in boxers. Dean sees they’re close to the bed and pulls Cas down with him as he falls.

Cas isn’t fazed by the movement at all and quickly adjusts to more comfortably kiss the crook of Dean’s neck. The slight moans he receives in answer are enough to make him keep going. Soon his lips are making a trail down Dean’s chest. He stops over his heart, smiling at it’s thundering pace. The pause is prolonged when Dean shifts underneath him to bracket his hips between his thighs. Continuing the kisses down his stomach, Cas makes a u-turn at the waistband of Dean’s shorts. Reaching his lips once again, they trade soft and slow kisses until Dean rolls them on their sides, his hand running along Cas’s back. Although these kisses hold a bit more direction, they’re still not Dean’s ‘right-fricken-now’ kisses. They’re accompanied by shallow hip thrusts and gentle grinds. At this pace they could go all night without a big finish, or they could easily step it up and burst some light bulbs.

Dean pulls back a bit breathless, “Cas?”

“Yes?” he continues to kiss the side of Dean’s head. 

“We should tell them. But after Alexa is back to normal and hell,” he dips his head to Cas’s chest, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but, let’s forget about Lucifer for a bit.”

Cas shifts causing Dean to look at him, “Dean? What do you mean?”

“I’m saying let’s do it right. Take off to somewhere, go out to dinner and tell them, then celebrate.”

Cas cups Dean’s jaw and brings their lips together. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Dean,” he says pulling back.

“Yeah? I was thinking maybe the next time Mom stopped by we just all go.”

“Are you sure?” he’s still a little unsure of Dean’s sudden determinedness.

“Yes. I mean I think. Aren’t you?”

Cas smiles, “whatever you’d like, Dean.”

“What I’d like is for us to continue making out and then get some sleep.”

“Is that all?” He growls into the hunter’s ear before pulling the lobe between his teeth. The complete body shudder that runs through Dean that follows is completely worth it. As is being pinned down,  _ completely voluntarily,  _ by the hunter and his ravaging mouth.

A few hours later when Dean’s phone pings with a new text alert they’re far too busy to pay any attention to it. 

_____

Sam leans back in his chair for the millionth time and checks the clock, it’s around five am and he should really get some rest. Whatever Dean and Cas are talking about must be serious because he hasn’t heard from either of them since Dean brought him dinner. Maybe he should check on them. Maybe getting up and moving more than the occasional pacing would be a good idea too. As he does, he hears a whimper and shifting from the bed. 

“Wha-where am I?” Alexa barely opens her eyes.

Sam’s instantly there keeping her from getting up, “hey, hey, easy.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah, I’m here baby. I’m here,” he runs his hand over her head. The fever finally broke around midnight, but still left her hair matted with sweat.

“I, oh,” her hand comes up to cover her mouth. Sam quickly finds a trash can. As soon as she takes it she’s emptying her stomach while he rests his hand on her forehead and rubs her back. After a few minutes she nods and lays back down. With a few deep breaths she asks, “you… Cas?” Her voice is hoarse and weak.

“Yeah sweetheart you held it open long enough for us,” his eyes keep looking over her to make sure she’s ok.

“What happened?” she says a little easier now.

“Shh, don’t worry about it now. Rest,” his voice is soothing and makes her feel safe.

Until she remembers, “Cas, he’s, he’s ok, right?”

Sam gently pushes her back down again, “he’s fine Lex. He heard you and we immediately started back. But please, you need to rest.”

“Mm fine,” she drunkenly waves him off. It’d be a lot more endearing if she had been drunk.

“What happened Lex? You scared the shit out of all of us,” he gives her a little space and sits back.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to,” she turns her head and opens her eyes again, albeit far too briefly for Sam’s liking.   
  
“I know baby, I know,” he runs his hand through her hair again.  _ As long as I can touch her she’s ok. _ “Why don’t you get some sleep, huh? I’ll still be here when you wake up.” Seemingly out of energy for words she gives a brief nod and curls into herself. Sam lets out a long breath and runs his hands over his face and through his own hair. Deciding what to do he pulls out his phone and sends a quick text before crawling in the bed next to Alexa. He wraps her body in his, not waiting for a reply to his text he drifts off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Dean stretches and feels muscles and joints pop back into place. He smiles as he remembers why he’s so sore. The source is still laying naked beside him in the bed. Running a hand through his hair sends the soft spikes in even more various directions. He turns and runs his hand through the angel’s which causes a bright blue eye to squint at him. “Morning sunshine,” he smiles far too brightly for Cas’s liking. Cas grumbles and rolls onto his back causing the sheet to pull and gather at his waist. Dean watches aptly and licks his lips.

“Dean?” Cas asks a few more times before smiling and runs his hand from his hip up over his chest, then through his hair. 

“Huh?” His eyes dazedly follow the movement, making their way up Cas’s toned chest.

Cas huffs a fond laugh, “you’re insatiable Dean.” His hand reaches out and brings the hunter’s lips to his. Pulling back he rests his forehead against the other man’s, “good morning.”

The kiss effectively works to bring Dean back online again. Unfortunately that means all of him comes back again as well. Cas sits up against the headboard as Dean rattles off his thoughts while gathering clean clothes from drawers. “What time is it? Oh. Sammy texted. Oh. We should check on them,” he pockets the phone now clearly concerned.

“Dean? What happened?” He gets up and starts to dress as well.

Dean doesn’t answer and instead goes back to his ramblings, “you ok? I don’t wake up before you, man. I mean, not that I don’t think you should get more sleep, just, well, ya’ know. You want breakfast? Think they’ll want breakfast? Wonder if Lex is up yet?” He opens the door and walks into the hallway. Cas hastily throws on a T-shirt and reaches out to Dean before he gets too far. Spinning him Dean reveals his wide eyes; portals to the million scenarios that have been criss-crossing his mind. 

Cas does the first thing he thinks of; pushing him against the wall and kissing him slowly until he feels Dean relax and wrap around him. Pulling back just enough to cover Dean’s mouth with his hand, he kisses the tip of his nose before calmly answering, “I’m fine Dean. We have only been asleep for a few hours. I admit I was feeling a bit tired so I allowed myself to sleep until I felt you wake. I don’t need to eat though. What was Sam’s text?”

He waits for the angel to move his hand before blinking and taking a breath, “he wants to call off looking for Lucifer. He says it’s not worth the risk and if he wants to he’ll find us. And so you’re fine? Really?”

“I am. And he makes sense. We should all weigh in, although Alexa may be a bit too determined to just stop.”

Dean eyes his response wearily, “that the only reservation you see?”

“Dean, you said the same thing last night. I agree with both of you. We tried and it didn’t work out, perhaps we just got too, ‘swept up’,” he air quotes.

Dean watches him a moment then finds whatever answer he needed. “Let’s go see if Lex is awake, yeah?” He takes Cas’s hand without waiting for a response and leads him down the hall. 

When they open the door they see Alexa holding Sam and pressing kisses to the crown of his head. Sam is sound asleep. Seeing the other two walk in she smiles and sends them a small wave, which they return. Quietly stepping closer, she whispers, “morning.”

Dean looks her over then whispers back, “morning. You ok?” She nods and he thumbs towards Sam in question. “Not sure how long he’s been out, but I’m gonna guess not long enough.”

“Yeah. Want anything?” He reaches out a hand to feel for a temperature, thankful to not feel one he pulls his hand back to his side.

“I’m good. I’ll see if I can get him up in a few. I’m guessing he needs to eat too,” she waves a hand to the dish on the table still piled with leftovers. Dean responds with a tight lipped head shake. Before he can turn to leave she reaches out and grabs his wrist.”Thank you. Both of you,” she whispers sweetly. They smile back and leave the room. A few minutes later she turns on her side, effectively turning into the little spoon. Laying there for an unknown amount of time, she debates on waking Sam, or letting him sleep as long as he needs when she feels him press a kiss to the base of her neck. Then her shoulder. Then behind her ear. She turns only enough to grant him easy access to place a kiss to her cheek. “Morning Sam.”

“Morning baby. I love you,” she can feel his smile as his lips press against her neck again. He pulls back and their eyes meet. “You feel ok?”

“I’m good sweetie. We should get up though. Dean and Cas are already up and have been in to check on us.” When a guilty look passes over his face she catches it before he can school his features again. “What?”

“Did they say anything?”

“No,” she says slowly gauging his reaction. “Why? What did you do?”

“Nothing!”

“Sam,” she may be in a med bay bed, but she’s portraying every bit the person that could easily kick his ass.

He holds her gaze as long as he can before crumbling. “I was tired and worried and scared and well, I told them we should call off looking for Lucifer. It’s not worth the risk. I almost lost you. That’s not worth it,” he rushes.

She sighs, “Sam, I’m not mad. Maybe we should. We’ve ignored everything else for a month and despite all of our work and diligence, it still didn’t pan out. I’m not happy about it, but,” she shrugs.

“Wait, you’re not- you’re really ok with that?”

“Yes, Sam. I told you. We swung and we missed even with months of spring training and expert coaching.”

Sam is awestruck, “umm, I’m unsure how to respond to that. Part of me is glad you’re good with that, another part is a little concerned that it was too easy, and then a third much more embarrassing stereotypical male part of me is really turned on by the sports terms.”

Alexa rolls her eyes and her body until her hips brush against his, smirking when he sucks in a sharp breath at the friction. “We could discuss our next play, or we could go have breakfast with Dean and Cas, discuss the lineup,” she mentally bites her lip in anticipation of her mean trick, “ya know, find out who catches and who pitches.” Instantly he’s pulling away with a groan and disgusted scrunched up face while Alexa laughs.

“That was just, so mean,” his hands hide his face but can’t hide his smile. “Serious brain bleach.”

“Couldn’t help it babe, it was a golden opportunity and no matter how much I love you, I had to take it. Besides, neither one of us is up for a round right now.” She starts to get up and wobbles slightly. Sam is there instantly, “thanks. Now lets go talk about this.” She takes a few steps and then stops, “after I take a shower.”

Sam looks at her with a raised brow, “you just needed help out of bed, I think a shower can wait. Or Cas can mojo you clean.”

She lets out a frustrated sigh, “god I hate that but you’re right. I know he’d do it. Fine. Let’s do this then.” They walk to the kitchen and, after Alexa begrudgingly asks Cas to zap her fresh again, they sit down for breakfast. The big talk they know they have to have turns out to not be so big. “So, I know Sam texted you last night,” Alexa starts while Sam gets her more tea.

“Yeah?” Dean doesn’t press.

“Yes. And I think he’s right.”

Dean and Cas share a look, “you’re sure about that?” Cas asks gently.

“Yeah. Sometimes the chapter doesn’t have a nice, neat, ending,” she explains and takes a sip before closing her eyes and resting against Sam’s shoulder.

“Ok then, we’ll go back to business,” Dean agrees and gets more coffee. “But you still need to rest so we take today then look in the morning,” his eyes catch Sam’s as his hand settles on Cas’s shoulder. There’s something in the gesture that they pick up on, but Alexa misses. 


End file.
